So the other night, I saw Steve Streza tweet about the new Star Wars film, specifically about JJ Abrams’ style in directing the film.

Awesome, I love film grain. Before I could convince myself it was a bad idea, I looked up showtimes for a theatre here in the East Village and bought tickets for a showing a few hours later.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but it has been over two years since I spontaneously went to the movies. Movies – especially new releases like The Force Awakens – are filled with other people. There are abundant opportunities for social awkwardness, line-ups for the bathroom, and a host of other things that are difficult if you have an anxiety disorder.

But we went, and it was great! It was so cool to put some energy into going to the movies and get more energy out of it.

Think of depression like nuclear ignition. Fusion takes a lot of energy, and usually you end up spending more energy than you harness. But the other night was different.

Enjoying a night out to the movies sounds like a small step, and it is, but it’s also a necessary one if I want to get back to feeling like myself full-time. Watching The Force Awakens inspired a new hope for my recovery.