This post comes with a content warning for a medical discussion.

In late 2019, I discovered I had a health condition that needed surgery to correct. Not life-threatening, but it was the first major acute physical health issue that I’ve encountered as an adult. That led to a surgery while I still lived in New York. 2020 was not a great time for medical treatment in New York. The cab driver taking me to the hospital pointed out the freezer trucks along the East River being used as makeshift morgues. My recovery didn’t go great, but I was cleared to travel home to Canada.

Unfortunately, the problem recurred and I needed surgery again. After about a year on a waitlist, I had a different operation to resolve the same problem. Exactly one year ago today.

That’s right, surgery on Halloween. I tried to put a cool spin on it – like that’s pretty metal, right? Surgery on Halloween? Could be a cool story. And I wish I could tell you a cool story, but the fact is that it sucked. It was a more invasive procedure than last time. Canadian hospitals are great in some ways, but are also overcrowded. I was admitted overnight and it was hell.

But I survived. I did what I had to do, to make it through.

I worked with a physiotherapist in the months leading up to the procedure to strengthen my core muscles for better post-operation outcomes. I started going for daily walks the very first day I returned home from the hospital. Once cleared by my surgeon, I started strengthening exercises with my physiotherapist: about six weeks after the surgery. Ever since then, I have been training. Training from the inside out and from the bottom up.

I used to consider core workouts a kind of warmup to the actual weightlifting training at the gym. But when I started training again last year, with a focus on safety, core workouts were all I had. And I started from scratch: laying on my back and engaging my core as I exhaled.

Building up from a solid foundation has led me to some great successes.

First, the health problem that required surgery in the first place is being managed. I am not “as good as new”, I never will be, and I need to work within that reality. Safety while training is more paramount than ever. On the other hand, believing yourself to be fragile is a great way to get injured. So it’s been a balance, literally and figuratively.

Second, I’ve gotten stronger. My wife remarked “you’ve become as strong as you’ve ever been. Maybe not in the absolute sense, but in the Vacuum Wars sense.” Meaning that I might have a lower one-rep max but my coordination and useful day-to-day strength is up. This has been a great feeling. It’s been amazing to see my arms and legs grow without even focusing on those muscles.

I started running again in May. Slowly at first. I still don’t run as fast or as far as I have before. I also don’t use a smartwatch at all; for the first time as a runner, the only feedback I’m listening to is my own body. I wish I had ditched the technology sooner.

Last weekend, just less than a year after my surgery, I completed Fredericton’s Run for the Shelters 3k race. Only my second race ever. I don’t even know my time, but I know that I trained, I showed up, and I finished.

I dare you to look happier at 1ºC with 40km/h wind gusts.

My health issue might come back at some point. There’s a good chance it will, actually. I intend to beat the odds and to do that, I have to manage it. For the rest of my life. Managing my health is something I should have been doing my whole life. I never chose to neglect my health, but it happened. I choose to prioritize my health from now on.

I cannot express enough gratitude to my wife for her help and support over the last year. My feelings – of helplessness and sadness – reached indescribable depths. But she’s always been there to remind me that I can do this. And I have. And I will.